Saturday, 9 November 2013


I am walking through the woods thinking about my NaNo novel and I realise I have the crime but not the denouement.

Denouement? Where did that come from? I didn't know I knew the word and yet it springs into my mind.I can spend hours trying to think of an alternative to 'looked' and yet denouement just appears at the forefront of my brain.

Such is my brain. 

After my rejection yesterday I felt too low to write very much last night but I caught up today before George and I walked. And while walking the most beautiful prose wrote itself in my head ... and now I've forgotten it all. 

Or maybe it just wasn't that beautiful.

Younger Son kindly bought me some Cadburys Fingers to help me get over my rejection; sadly this evening I need them to help me get over Wales' defeat at the hands of South Africa. 

A writer and a Wales fan: no wonder I suffer from depression.

Friday, 8 November 2013

Dealing with rejection

It always seems to happen on a Friday. I have come to dread arriving home form the 'proper' job, sitting down and reading my emails. I wonder if the agents have a massive splurge come Fridays and rush to clear out just a few more from their undoubtedly huge piles.

This time, because they'd had it nearly 7 weeks and in their preliminary email they'd suggested that if a rejection was coming it would be quick to come, I'd made that fatal mistake: getting my hopes up.

The email when it did come was a standard one but it felt just a little bit more personal as the agent wrote, 'Despite your funny and engaging style ...'

The 'despite' was enough; I didn't have to read any further. But I did. Just in case I was misinterpreting  Just in case she'd had a change of heart by the time she'd finished typing the email. Just in case she could offer me a gleam of hope.

She hadn't; she didn't.

It's okay; I can handle this. After all I'm used to it. 

No, I can't. Not yet anyway. Maybe tomorrow I'll pick myself up and submit it to another agent but for tonight allow me to wallow.