Monday 17 September 2018

Fear of writing

It's been a while but I'm back.

Last week I decided I would self-publish my three novels rather than keep on submitting to agents only to be rejected. It's such a palaver with every agent having slightly different requirements meaning it takes ages to submit one novel to one agent let alone three to different ones. Making that decision has been a freeing process for me! I am excited about writing again.

So much so that last night I woke at 4.40 am and began rewriting a chapter in  my head. That's how excited I am.

So why is it now, when I have set time aside to write, that I am blogging rather than novel writing? And why does ironing seem a good alternative? Or even cleaning the bathroom?

Because I'm terrified. 

So scared that I won't be able to do it. That the brilliance in my brain won't translate adequately to the screen.

Plus the fact that people who've read This Time Next Year love it - and my other three novels are all very different and I fear no-one will like them.

But I won't know unless I try.

P.S. I'm also in the middle of ghost-writing a memoir too but a) my subject lives in Brighton, and b) he's frequently away. Part of the reason he's an interesting subject is his role as police chaplain working in disaster areas - hence he's always popping off to offer solace.

4 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Ukh Please ignore my last attempt at a comment. I tried posting it last night and my 3 million gigabytes of data allowance decided to run out on me right at that moment. So what the comment should say would go more like:

    Hi Liz! I've got an idea for something you could post about:
    Have you ever tried contacting a named literary agent person (eg Josephine Bloggs of Higgins & Jones Associates) and asking Miss Bloggs directly if she's interested in any of your 3 books? Or do you simply follow the general instructions given on Higgins & Jones’s website? (Miss Bloggs might be more flexible about what she wants than the stern requirements posted on those websites.)
    I only submitted to one single agent (on paper) a couple of years ago and they said I should try submitting elsewhere. Nobody EVER said that back in the day, quite possibly because what I had to offer then was utter crap. In the 1990s I wrote a huge novel, a real load of crap. One agent asked to see the complete MS straightaway (on the basis of my beautiful sales letter. I was much better at writing letters than writing books). But the agent’s verdict said my work was "slightly below professional quality". I disagree. I think it was far below any professional standard, a real potboiler, a cauldron of bubbling diarrhoea. Back then I never sent samples with my first enquiry and (looking back) this seemed like a better idea. Because it meant I was always dealing with a named person who had specifically asked to see my outline and sample chapters. And presumably they were receiving something they were looking forward to, in a busy professional person type of way.
    One of the reasons I'm interested in self-publishing is that I keep the rights to myself, and if it sells only small amounts, I’m definitely getting a bigger percentage. If a conventional publisher ever became interested maybe I would be in a stronger bargaining position than a total unknown. Is this right? Am I just flattering myself??? I really don't know.
    I dread the idea of pitching my work to some stranger. My bourgeois petit intellectual key worker wanted to interpret this as a lack of confidence in my work but that is not the case. I’m totally out of my comfort zone when required to sell something that’s never been bought before. It's like trying to explain a private joke or a dream you had last night. It's fine if the book has come out and you know what people are saying. You just refine their comments into a sales pitch. But with almost zero feedback to work on... what do you say?
    If you have any feedback about dealing with agents or pitching one’s work or the pros and cons of self-publishing I for one am interested to hear it, so please, if you can, post away!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Ukh, I hope that doesn't sound patronising. I wasn't trying to be. I was just wondering what approach you take, especially when you're in the position of being able to offer a range of work and not just one book and the willingness to write more... y'know...??...!... ((:-3)

    ReplyDelete
  4. A lot of agencies list their agents and particular interests now, Gledwood, so I've tried to pick one appropriate. But sometimes it's just pot luck. I'm rubbish at writing a sales pitch: i'm inclined to the view that the work should speak for itself. But mine obviously doesn't.

    With my first novel I found one agent who asked to read the manuscript. I gt very excited until she wrote back saying her 'reader' had felt it was too weak.

    It strikes me that it all depends on who reads it and how they're feeling at that particular moment. As I've said before, I am still convinced my writing is as good as many of the books currently published.

    ReplyDelete